Life as a mom

When I first got pregnant, I was unprepared for what was to come. Life before becoming a mom, and life after...nothing prepares you for that change. No matter how ready you think you are, it is life altering. In good ways. In scary ways. And in ways that just blow you away. Everyday is a learning experience. The love you feel for your children cannot be described with words. The feelings are too deep, too large, and too emotional to capture with letters.

I'll never forget how excited I was when I found out I was pregnant. I stared at those two pink lines for hours. I loved going for my ultrasound and seeing my baby on the screen.

I remember vividly the day I gave birth. Seeing my baby for the first time was incredible. Holding him. Staring at him, in disbelief that this was my baby, that I was his mother. I breastfed right away, and luckily, it came naturally to us both. Later, in my room, I could not sleep. I was scared to close my eyes.

I still had a hard time falling asleep for days after I got home.

I had never been so tired. I was a walking zombie, and my only purpose in life was to feed, burp, and hold my child. I did not want any visitors. I was a mama lion in protective mode over her baby.

As the weeks turned into months, we settled into a routine, and life became easier. I loved my baby, and I loved being his mommy.

When I got pregnant again two years later, I was excited but I wasn't scared of the unknown - I was a mother, after all - I was scared about having a second child. How would my son react? How I would be able to leave the house with two children, when one was sometimes hard? Of course, the happiness outweighed the worry. Seeing my baby during the ultrasounds, hearing his heartbeat, and feeling his kicks warmed my heart.

Giving birth was even easier this time. When my son was placed in my arms, the love I felt was so powerful I cried tears of joy. Seeing my oldest son look at his baby brother for the first time was a moment I'll cherish forever. That night in the hospital, I was able to sleep. I was relaxed.

But there were other feelings this time - those of mommy guilt! It was my first time being away from my oldest son. I worried about how things would be when I left the hospital.

When I got home, though, things fell into place. This new baby brought so much happiness to our lives.

And although being a mom is tiring, I am a happy mom who counts her blessings. I am the mom who watches her children sleep every single night, thinking back to the days when they were newborns and my heart swells with a powerful love.

Written by Loukia, a mommy of two, a writer, and a constant worrier. Loukia also blogs at: www.loulousviews.blogspot.com

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It comes naturally
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It's funny how quickly we fall into the pattern of being a mom and looking after this new little life. I look back and I everything pre-baby is a blur and insignificant now.
PrincessJenn , August 28, 2009 | url
Nothing Better
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There really is nothing better than watching a child sleep.
Burgh Baby , August 28, 2009 | url
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I love watching my baby sleep too. Great post Loukia!
christy , August 28, 2009 | url
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I felt exactly the same way! My first..well was my first and I experienced everthing with him and the second came along and although I was excited about having another it never compared to the first one since I had experienced it all before...until I held him in my arms...the love was the same for baby #2 as it was for baby #1...it's ABSOLUTELY the best thing I have ever been apart of!

Thank you for your wonderful story...you two are blessed with two little boys...and nothing compares to the love between a mother and son...unless your a Dad with a daugher! smilies/smiley.gif
Chandra , August 28, 2009 | url
So true!
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Lovely post, Loukia! I can relate to every single one of those feelings you mention. Especially the guilt of having another child, with another still so young. And the anxiety of wondering if I'd ever get out the house with 2... still working on that!
Lady Mama , August 28, 2009 | url
Great post!
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What a great post!
I had all of those feelings. Your first child, you are scared to death. You are so afraid that you will do something wrong. Your second child is much easier but the guilt of leaving the first child is terrible. It all falls into place. You are all in love. You are all one big, happy family.
Hailey , August 28, 2009 | url
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Beautiful Post Loukia. Just Beautiful. Right on the money!
Jenn , August 28, 2009 | url
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Sounds like you're ready for a third! ; )
Elaine , August 28, 2009 | url
Beautiful.
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This is beautiful, Loukia. In fact, I am going to email it to a friend of mine who just told me today that she is pregnant with her second -- a bit unexpectedly. Your story shows that a life with two children in the house may bring double the work, but also double the joy!
Shannon @ AnchorMommy , August 28, 2009 | url
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Great post! I was also amazed at how natural the transition into motherhood was. It's a great feeling and I couldn't imagine the world without my little guy! Life is so much more exciting with him in it!
Amanda aka Mad Mom , August 29, 2009 | url
Creative Momma
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Soo true, my friend. I was terrified after Isabella. And after Madelyn was born? I wasn't so scared--but I had a total case of mommy guilt smilies/smiley.gif

Love this post!
Chelle , August 29, 2009 | url
Great post Loukia!
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You took me right back to when I found out I was pregnant with Hannahsmilies/smiley.gif Great memories indeed! Thank you for sharing yours.
Jen , August 29, 2009 | url
Perfect!
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Well said, Loukia! Becoming a mother is a mind-blowing experience.
Cara , August 29, 2009 | url
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I can totally relate to what you are feeling Loukia. I just recently had my second boy and it is so amazing to see them together and to watch them grow. Who knew you could love two little people so much?! Great post!
Sarah (oceansj) , August 29, 2009
beautiful post
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sleeping babies. perfection on so many levels. beautiful post honey!!
melissa , August 29, 2009 | url
so touching
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and so true! This is such a lovely post, I think it reflects the feelings of many moms!
Elisa , August 29, 2009 | url
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Great post Lou Lou... you are passionate about being a Mom and it shows! Loved your description of seeing your son for the first time! So true!
SC , August 29, 2009 | url
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Beautiful Post Loukia!
Chantal , August 29, 2009 | url
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There is nothing more peaceful than a sleeping baby! And no one happier than a mom with a sleeping baby...ha!
Neena , August 30, 2009 | url
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It is amazing the peace that comes with the second baby...you are able to sleep, you are able to relax and you know that you are a great mom and you can take anything the new baby gods throw at you!
Natalie , August 30, 2009 | url
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Well said! That is exactly how I feel!
Ash , August 30, 2009
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good post! smilies/smiley.gif
gina , August 31, 2009
artist
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it all worked out pretty good your kids are great you are doing a fine job Louka
k mertikas , August 31, 2009 | url
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great job so far Loukia
k mertikas , August 31, 2009 | url
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You have beautiful boys and you can see how much you love them just through your writing. You should have moresmilies/kiss.gif
Kelli (@kellidaisy) , August 31, 2009 | url
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You are a beautiful, loving, nurturing and fantastic Momma - I hope you keep having lots of babies!

Love you!
Anastasia , August 31, 2009
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Good luck, Loukia!
DaniGirl , August 31, 2009
such a touching story!
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while i do not have children of my own, this is a very touching article. thank you for putting parenthood into such wonderful perspective!
Stacey Mertikas , August 31, 2009
beautiful article!
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while i am not a parent myself, this was a very touching article. thank you for putting parenthood into such a beautiful perspective!
Stacey Mertikas , August 31, 2009
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Becoming a mom certainly changes things - but what a wonderful change!
Rebecca , August 31, 2009 | url
Awesome
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Motherhood is an institution of love and worry. You can't have one without the other!
Jessica - This Is Worthwhile , September 01, 2009 | url
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Being a mom is the best thing ever, even though it comes with its fair share of challenges. But we love every minute of it, right?! Awesome post! xo
Suzanne , September 01, 2009
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I'm going to find out in a few weeks (or less or more!) what it's like to have #2 around, and I can't wait! Great post! I love watching my little guy sleep. ahhh the squishy lips.
Shannon , September 07, 2009 | url
GOOD LUCK!!
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I was afraid to sleep with my first too - although, to be honest, that quickly dissipated with the second one - I was just too exhausted to keep up that kind of anxiety. GOOD LUCK!
Maria @BOREDmommy , September 07, 2009 | url
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awesome post!
georgia , September 08, 2009
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ya i felt the same! good job tho
seanna , September 08, 2009
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Great post!
Zafy , September 08, 2009
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So, so true! I love to watch my children sleep- it seems like only yesterday that they were newborns resting on my chest. smilies/smiley.gif
Scary Mommy , September 08, 2009 | url
Well written
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Your words are so honest - and are so true. Thank you for sharing!
Parent Club , September 08, 2009 | url
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Great post girl!!
I love the look of one child to another for the 1st meeting-so sweet!
spoiled mommy , September 10, 2009 | url
Great Post Loukia!
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Good Luck Loukia! Hope you winsmilies/smiley.gif
Lorraine , September 11, 2009 | url
Beautiful
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Beautiful post Loukia.

I also couldn't sleep easily after my kids were born. With my son, it was because he kept me awake all night right from the start. But my daughter slept through the night her very first night on this planet and I lay there staring at her. I just couldn't close my eyes.
Annie @ PhD in Parenting , September 11, 2009 | url
My kids are furry with four legs...but...
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A friend's daughter in law is pregnant right now, and it has been interesting to watch the changes in her. Interesting article. Looks like she will have some challenges ahead.
Colleen C , September 11, 2009
walking zombie - you got it!
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But the happiest, fullest walking zombie smilies/smiley.gif Gosh it's the greatest isn't it? smilies/kiss.gif Good luck -- this was beautifully written - you deserve to WIN!
mamajoss , September 13, 2009 | url
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Well written Loukia, you echo the words of so many new Moms.
BeachMama , September 13, 2009 | url
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Nothing better than a sleeping babysmilies/smiley.gif
Nap Warden , September 13, 2009 | url
Kami's Khlcopchyk
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That was beautiful Loukia and I can relate to it all, I felt very much the same way the first and second times.

congratulations! And I am sorry I missed when this went up too!
Kami , September 15, 2009 | url
Sunshine
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Your writing is like sunshine in my monitor. Always beautiful, Loukia, I love the way you love those babies!
Jessica , September 16, 2009 | url
reply
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It's well known that money can make people free. But what to do when someone doesn't have cash? The one way only is to try to get the credit loans or student loan.
Marion35Frye , March 03, 2010 | url

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